Not Jewish but Not Separate

Solidarity, self-determination, and schnitzel -- the essentials.

Hi. My name is Moshe Eskenazi. (This isn’t a photo of me, but thanks to AI we’re keeping it fun.) My mother’s mother was not a Jew, and I have not undergone a conversion according to the most widely and consistently accepted body of Jewish law, which is known as halacha. This means that I’m not a Jew — but to an anti-Semite, this doesn’t matter. My name, my mannerisms, and my looks all keep pointing in one direction: definitely a Jew.

It’s a question I can’t escape, but this blog is not intended to talk about Judaism. First of all, I’m not qualified. Although I grew up with a Jewish identity, I have not been properly educated about Jewish law. (I can only hope that those I’ve hurt who are reading this will forgive my trespasses against them as the misguided actions of an uneducated person. For what it’s worth, I do not intend to repeat my mistakes and I intend to obtain a proper education.)

Secondly, this blog was originally intended to discuss the joy of simple curiosity, and how to defend against the hijacking of the innocence of discovery at the hands of an agenda of manipulation. I never thought that such trickery would get so bad, but it did. Imagine the power of an idea that a bunch of uncharismatic computer programmers in Silicon Valley possessed. They succeeded in warping people’s minds very deeply, in a coordinated manner via a browser, a search engine and advertisements. Their effect was so pervasive that the vast majority of the West was duped into believing that a man can become a woman, and vice versa. Even if this nonsensical belief only lasted less than a decade, the damage has been done. The Daily Wire reported that at least 14,000 children in America (but could be as many as 60,000) have received chemical or surgical intervention — for something that the Torah unambiguously denounces, as if common sense wasn’t enough. All this was done to protect a revenue stream from pharmaceutical companies, along with a licentious usurpation of ethics.

If a computer programmer decides that no morality is going to get in the way of his raucous debauchery, then so be it — irreversible juvenile genital mutilation be damned. How did the enjoyment of pushing pixels in virtual art canvases, and synthesizing technologically-generated musical harmonies, and illustrating impossible science fiction landscapes through words and comics, and honing crafts of costumes and gadgets and electronic kits, and meeting and greeting fellow geeks through board games and conventions and imagination, get twisted into, “let’s dye our hair pink and teach kindergartners about pronouns” with glee and aplomb? Why did the boundaries of our exploration not STOP at permanent disfigurement? How could we all not see the truth?

This blog was necessary long before such horrendous acts became commonplace.

Perhaps the root of this collective deviant trans-gender hallucination is just a symptom. The real malady is an excess of fascination — too much ooh-ing and aah-ing, and too many over-stimulated retinae. When the universe is seen as humanity’s playground, when every good feeling ought to be celebrated, and when morality is relative to momentary sensations of gratification, people are bound to get hurt in a grinding machine of pleasure-seeking adventure. I’m guilty, too. Not all that glitters is gold. I believed the lie that sexual self-soothing is healthy, that consent is the only responsibility and obligation that we have towards other people, that what people do in the privacy of their own homes has no consequences for the broader society. When open-mindedness has no boundaries, any bad idea can get in and take hold.

I’m here to tell you now that discovery in and of itself is meaningless. The action that one takes upon the discovery is the entire purpose and the value of the discovery. That’s not Torah. That’s just plain wisdom.

Writing about these themes was my goal long ago, but I lacked the framework within which to discuss the matter in a positive and healthy manner. After exploring these ideas and asking for guidance, it occurred to me that this blog is aptly named, after all. The brothers Jacob and Esau were very different and struggled with each other. One brother represented earnest study and adaptive work, and one represented conquest and control. As a person that necessarily faces issues of conscience and identity every day, this example in Torah resonates deeply with me. Extrapolating from this example, I recognize that I also have to overcome my personal challenges, just as these brothers had to reconcile their characters. I must meet the expectations of G-d, develop my conscience, fit into my workplace and community, and work diligently to help others.

My goal is not to be like the biblical leader Moses — nor ought that be the goal of anyone, for that would be an impossible goal and thus a foolhardy quest. My goal is to be like any of the people of Israel: loving each other, treating people with the respect that they would hope would be visited upon themselves, being free to succeed, and enjoying the blessings of the Creator together in peace.

So, this blog will explore what it means to be a “geek” in a healthy way, to not get corrupted by the “power” that seeks to distort it, and how to sublimate these desires before the ultimate truth of the Creator of the universe.